PERFECTION IS HERE!!!!!!

my story... my poem...

2010-07-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

BRAVE GIRL...!!!

They call her a Brave Girl
One they had never seen or heard
She sees everything with different eyes
With a different view of the world.

They call her a Brave Girl
Who can stand up for herself
She might want you but never need you
So u keep your sympathy with yourself.

They call her a Brave Girl
Who could change anything she wants
She can screw you hard
With her teasing taunts.

They call her a Brave Girl
Who always got everything she wanted
She knows how to move on, solving
Every trouble by which she’s haunted.

They call her a Brave Girl
Blindly believing what she shows them on face
Though the genuine thoughts n feelings
Are hidden somewhere behind her grace.

BUT, Today…
The Bravery of this Brave Girl
Has disappeared somewhere
The realistic view of life
Has changed to fantasies everywhere.

Inside she feels like yelling, crying…
But, the tears refuse to fall
This suffocation is troubling her
N she feels abandoned by all.

She raises her hand
In prayer for someone to hold her back
Who could take her out of the Dark
N get her life back on track.

She keeps shouting, crying, pleading…
For just one to protect her…
Jut one out of the whole world…
Cuz she knows that if They lose her…
No one would ever find another BRAVE GIRL!!!
:(

2010-06-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

-St. Augustine.

LAST EVENING...

2010-06-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

The first completely abstract piece of work by my mind... or heart... whatever...
it took me longer than ever to write this one... n at last, i wrote womething which my heart wasnt really saying...
Last evening, while singing my song
reflecting upon my journey
the soft breeze touched me hard
as if trying to speak of someone's heart
it all felt silent
lyk the silence before the storm
the breeze brought along
the aroma of a heart
i forgot my song
n stood mesmerised
remembering the aroma
n trying to forget it at the same time...

just when the storm took over
n it all got blurred
but i still stood
suprised at the beauty
beauty of the storm
n lull of the silence preceeding...

just when the sky got clearer
n so did the view
when all i cud see
was a heart emerging
out of nowhere in front of me
taking over every beauty
i had till then seen
the heart was the same
whose aroma the breeze had brought
n it took away my soul with it
rendering worthless everything I had got!!!

HOLDING ON...

2010-06-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

Nothing was ever
the way i wanted
the gurt i got was
beyond all measures
But, i kept holding on...

Itrusted lyk hell
and was betrayed again
i loved again
n gained more pain
But, i kept holding on...

I put my thrust
but failed again
the efforts i put
all went in vain
But, i kept holding on...

I tried working out
the things that were wrong
n more i ve tried
the worse it has gone
But, i kept holding on...

I tried to clear
the clouds that were grey
couldnt ignore
evrything they say
But, i kept holding on...

I wanted to trust again
with all my heart
but despite my efforts
it all fell apart
But, i kept holding on...

Eerything i do
still seems wrong
but to keep the faith alive
i keep snging my song
and
I KEEP HOLDING ON!!!

No i wont giv up, no i wont break down... sooner than it seems lyfs turnd around... n i wil be strong, evn if it all goes wrong...

2010-06-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

when i m standing in the dark i still believe... that SOMEONE'S WATCHING OVER ME!!!

Dont know why but i m desperately feeling this urge to write something really good... till i cum up with it... i would like you all to read some of my poems... one of which is...

ONE DAY...

One day, i ll be free

free to run away

to wake my dreams

and to stand my way.

One day i ll be pure

pure to speak right from my heart

not to hurt you with my words

and to leave all bygone things apart.

One day i ll be true

true not just to everyone but to me

to look at the inside of everything

and not just believe what i hear or see.

One day i ll be laughing

laughing to hide my tears

to hide the pain in my heart

that i would have gone through in the past years.

One day i ll be enjoying

enjoying the life of my own

just by trying to make everyone smile

no matter whether i am or not known.

One day i ll be happy

happy to be what i ll be

to do all the things i want

n to see the world as i wanna see.

One day i ll be living

living all the colors of my lyf

a lyf full of hope and peace

without any evil or strife.

One day i ll be the one

who i ve always wanted to be

who that is i still dont know

but atleast that ll be the REAL ME.

ONE DAY I LL DISCOVER

DISCOVER a new world of mine

with a new sun and the blue skies

and i ll be ready to RISE AND SHINE!

They say that gud things take time... but really great things happen in the blink of an eye!

2010-06-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

As i was happily experiencing every great thing coming to me... not really effortlessly, but unexpectedly... when suddenly, there came a flood of vibrations to me which seemed to convey something vry strange, sumthing unwanted... and they complicated everything that earlier seemed so simple... as i becum an observer to thE dramatic changes taking place around me... some things fallinig into place effortlessly, and others shattering even after utmost care... just decide to remain quiet and watch...

the following poem i wrote when i felt this way last tym... that was when it rained in the city last tym... n the coincidence is that its raining even today... the weather has brought back the same old feelings...

MY UNEXPRESSED EMOTIONS

It was quiet a few hours back

warm outside and calm within

but now,

its stormy outside

and there's thunder in my heart!

the air seems to tell me something

something that's born within my own inner self

but couldnt find a way out to express

which now the weather seems to do.

the shaking of the trees

seems to be out my own frustration

the rain is the tear of my despair

the unusual storm is the uncertainity of my mind

that takes me forth for a moment

and drags me back for another.

i am standing near the window

since the storm started

looking for an answer

in the blues and the trees

but they all seem to be equally confused.

people are enjoying the weather

but "I" m busy observing

observing the cause of this sudden strangeness

that surrounds me in this familiar environment.

the storm gets wilder

the rain gets intense

deperate to express

my feelings and their emotions.

it feels strange

strange to see how

heavens can cry ini grief

and laugh in joy

i know not what the cause is today

my sense of judgement

this weather seems to destroy.

the feeling of despair

is grabbing me in its dents

the weather gives in to my unexpressed emotions

and the STORM QUIETLY ENDS!!!

For YOU...

2010-06-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

A few Inspirational lines i wrote long back... thought it would help a few of my friends today...

keep looking forward
dont go back
however u are
you are on the right track.

people might find u right
they might take you wrong
dont care what others say
you have to go a way too long.

the sun will rise everyday
and so will the moon
i know its not that easy
but u ll reach ur destination very soon.

so what if people dont cease to fight
so what if nothing seems to go right
the blues sky is always above you
and the sun still shines the same bright.

so what if u dont succeed today
so what if u dont get your way
u still have a long way ahead
to wake your dreams and to stand your way.

sorrows and happiness
are not both apart
its your attitude that makes a difference
and the purity of your heart

whatever you are
whatever u ll be
i ll always be there
to make things better for u,
u ll see!!!
:)

2010-05-21T03:11:00.000-07:00

COMPLICATED COMPLICATION
Words don’t really seem to strike me right now but the feelings do which have forced me to write once again… not just for the sake of keeping the words flowing… but to really say something… which is out of my thought process… which even I don’t seem to understand… except for the fact that I just want to write!!!

It was just yesterday that I FINALLY got over with my exams… “so many shocks… n so many insults in just 2 months”… I bet we students deserve an award for the trauma we go through!!!

So, coming back to myself… as I finally step out from the traumatic period of 2 “long-long” months… I wanted to do everything I expected I will… n to begin with I got the movie tickets… my further plans included going to my friends… partying… sleeping… reading… in short enjoying my life to the fullest…
But I don’t know what It was…that struck me so hard yester night that took away all the beautiful thoughts from my mind!!!

I mean I no more felt like enjoying… all I needed and I still do… is perfect isolation…
From everything… from everyone… I need a moment of silence when I can just introspect and do nothing else… but the SILENCE around me seems to disturb the SILENCE that I want!!!
…Strange yet true!

Its not that I m being negative about anything… its not even that I m feeling super good… neither am I feeling normal… I am just feeling confused… confused about what is so confusing to me???...

What Is it that has held me so tight from being the way I want to be…
What is it that is stopping me from enjoying my life…?
I don’t seem to find any answers… and I don’t even think I really want to find them!
I just want to let be… but still want to change…
I feel like socializing a bit… but at the same time… feel lyk standing aside…
I want to uncomplicated… but am still complicating myself…
There is really nothing about which I should be thinking so… but still the confusion has taken a hold…!

I just hope I simplify myself soon…
And I wish you’ll pray for the same!!!

2010-05-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

at this time as many of my friends are falling victims to this depression which i was facing a couple of days back... i want u all to read the following lines from a song call THE CLIMB... i drive strength frm it... i hope it helps my friends too...

THE CLIMB

I can almost see it

That dream I'm dreaming

butThere's a voice inside my head sayin,You'll never reach it,

Every step I'm taking,

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

but IGot to keep trying

Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain

I'm always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what?s waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes they knock me down

but No I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm going to remember most yeah

Just got to keep goingAnd I,

I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on,

cause There's always going to be another mountain

I'm always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

Keep on moving

Keep climbing

Keep the faith baby

It's all about

The climb

Keep the faith

Keep your faith!!!

BEWARE!!!

2010-04-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

I received this mail from a frnd a few days back... and was terrified to read it...
i could have just mailed it to u all... and i even did... but i know that no on e really has enough tym today to read FORWARDED MAILS... especially wen it carries so much of the text!!!

pls go ahead...
This story is said to be True,But be warned it is NOT NICE!
This is a true story, it has been confirmed, the Medical Centre phonenumber at the end of this story is real..This guy went out on a Saturday night a few weeks ago to a party. He was having a good time and had a couple of beers and some girls seemed to like him and one invited him to go to another party. He quickly agreed and decided to go along with her. She took him to a party in some apartment and they continued to drink, and even got involved with some unknown drug.The next thing he knew, he woke up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs, but looked around to see he was alone. He looked down at his chest, which had 'CALL 000 or YOU'LL DIE' written on it with lipstick. He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub so he picked it up and dialled. He explained to the EMS operator what the situation was and that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really calling.She advised him to get out of the tub. He did, and he appeared normal, so she told him to check his back.. He did. He found two nine inch slits on his lower back. She told him to get back into the tubimmediately, and they sent a rescue team over. Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of what had happened. His kidneys were stolen. They were worth $10,000 each on the black market. Several guesses are in order: The people involved had to be at least medical students and it was not just recreational drugs he was given. Regardless, he is currently in the hospital on a life support, awaiting a spare kidney. The University of Sydney in conjunction withthe Royal Prince Alfred hospital is conducting tissue research to match the victim with a donor. I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting business travellers. This ring is well organized and well funded, has very skilled personnel and is currently operating in most major cities around the world and recently very active in Sydney ......This is not a scam or out of science fiction novel. It is real. It is documented and confirmable. If you travel or someone close to you travels, please be careful. Sadly, this is very true. My friend's husband is a Sydney EMT and they have received alerts regarding this crime ring. It is to be taken very seriously. The daughter of a friend of a fire-fighter had this happen to her. Skilled doctors are performing these crimes! (which, by the way have been highly noted in the Brisbane area). Additionally, the military has received alerts regarding this. I REALLY WANT AS MANY PEOPLE TO SEE THIS AS POSSIBLE SO PLEASE BOUNCETHIS TO WHOEVER YOU CAN.

what i dont really seem to understand is that how can a person who has acquired the noble skills of a doctor be so merciless to commit such a sin... doctors are thought to be the avators of god.. our life-savers... well if this is what a life saver does... i dont think anyone would even feel safe admitting a dear i n the hospital next tym...
pls forward the text to as many as u can... nd save ur frnds and family... who myt becum the victim of such a scam in the future!!!
I ll be uploading more such stories... so please do checking in... and get AWARE!!!

I TRIED SO HARD...

2010-04-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

ITS THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO SAY AFTER MESSING UP WITH MY JEE ...
SOMETHING I WAS PREPARING FOR SINCE THE LAST 2 YRS...
It starts with one thing i dunno why...
i doesnt even matter how hard u try
keep that in mind i designed this rhyme
(remind myself how i tried so hard)
to explain i ndue time
all i know...
that tym is a valuable thing
watch it pass by as the pendulum swings
watch it count down till the end of the day
the clock ticks lyf away
its so unreal...
didnt look out below
watch the tym go ryt out the window
trying to hold on
didnt even knw
wasted it all just to watch u go...
i kept evrythng insyd
n evn though i tried it all fell apart
what it meant to b will eventually b a memory
of a tym when i tried so hard...

I had put my thrust in you
and pushd as far as i cud go
for all this
theres only 1 thing u shud know
i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
it doesnt evn matter
i had to fall
TO LOSE IT ALL...
ND I DID LOSE IT ALL!!!!!!!
(taken frm IN THE END by LINKIN PARK)

JUST LEARNT A NEW LESSON

2009-01-09T23:49:00.000-08:00

JUST LEARNT A NEW LESSON
YES… I ve recently learnt a new lesson in my life…
People say that if u r really close to someone… if u really have a true friend… then that friend will always listen to u before u speak… he/she will always understand u even before u explain… but I personally believe that this is all false… all this seems gud in talks but this is something far from reality…
I don’t know if any of u might have experienced it or not… but since I have, I know how it is…
When u seriously need someone… when u desperately need to talk to someone… when u actually need a true friend… u have no one…
It’s just YOU and Ur LORD… yes, Ur lord… who’ll never leave u apart…
EXPECTATIONS for anyone can turn out to be troubles sometime…
If u keep ur expectations too high for anyone… it does become a problem at some point of ur life… the sooner we understand this, the better we can prevent the trouble…
If u expect too much from someone, its ur fault not his/hers.
I‘ll tell u how I learnt this lesson:-
Recently, I have been going through great stress in my life… and these are the times when u can expect ur friends to be with u… and u do start expecting too much from them… and there u go wrong… as I did… and wat was I left with… nothing but disappointment…
But never the less… I have finally realized that even if I have “nobody” with me… but I always have him… MY LORD… who’s always listening to me… caring for me…
SO… BELIEVING THAT IT’S BETTER TO LOWER EXPECTATIONS FROM PEOPLE THAN TO FACE DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE END… I have finally lowered my expectations from everyone…
And I feel much better now…
Nd, moreover… one thing that I would like to tell everyone is that… if u really need someone… don’t wait for the person to understand… just go and talk to him/her…
Don’t let a communication gap weaken ur relationship with anyone…
Though my friends didn’t understand me at this time of my life… but I still say that I have true friends… and the bestest friends… coz I know that if they had any idea about my condition… they would have always supported me… and they did support me…always… MORALLY…
But trust me people… if u really have someone in ur life who does understand u beyond ur words… then don’t, in any case, let ur relationship with the person weaken, in any way… coz that person must be MORE THAN THE WORLD… FOR U…

2009-01-02T02:16:00.001-08:00

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
So, yesterday, We finally ended up with another year… YEAR 2008… nd here cums 2009……
WELCOME
After going thru the whole 2008, that actually taught me so many lessons with so many experiences… the cuming of 2009 was lyk a grand event that demanded a grand celebratioin…
Lyk all the other years, here comes another one full of HOPES, COLORS (of joys and sorrows), NEW EXPERIENCES… nd wat not…
As we enter another year… we have new plans, new hopes, nd new promises made to ourselves wat we call as NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS… but how many times did we abide by them????? How many years have ended with the fulfillment of the promises that we made to ourselves at the beginning of the year??? Wat was ur resolution as 2008 began… u don’t even remember… hardly any of us does…
Its not that we don’t know that v are not going to follow our resolutions… its just that we don’t give up… we still have those bright rays of hopes lit in our hearts that yes… some day… we will fulfill our resolutions… nd we continue to make them… even today we still have a long list of resolutions that we have made for 2009… though even we know that the list will just remain a piece of paper that ll be thrown away in the trash box very soon nd by the end of the year we ll hardly remember any of our resolutions…
You must be wondering if this girl is against making any kind of resolutions in our lives…… NO.. its not so…
As… even I have my own resolutions for 2009. my resolution IS to study harder this year… I m writing this entry at 11pm on the 1st of Jan… nd I had planned to spend the whole day today studying… and GUESS WAT? I have not yet studied a word…
So there goes my resolution…
Making resolutions in your lives is not wrong… In fact, Its very important… but I think, before we MAKE any kind of RESOUTION in our life… we shud first MAKE up our MIND to abide by it… lyk, if my resolution is to study harder this year… even if I didn’t study today… I still have a whole year ahead to stand by my resolution, right?
I mean… even if I wasted one day enjoying myself(which is not wrong)… I still have 364 days ahead… in which I m seriously going to try working hard…
So friends… don’t stop making resolutions… if u have not yet made them, then make them now… as they are really important in our life…
SOME RESOLUTIONS CAN BRING ABOUT GR8 CHANGES IN UR LIVES… which may not give u success but will definitely act as a stepping stone towards success…
Whatever be ur resolutions this year… just go and chase them… but before that, add one more to them… i.e. TO have much more faith in god than last year…
Bcoz………

JUST AS ANGELS ARE ATTRACTED
TO LIGHT OF JOY AND KINDNESS…
SO ARE MIRACLES,
THAT ARE ATTRACTED TO THE
LAMP OF FAITH.

2009-01-02T02:15:00.000-08:00

INNOCENT TEENAGERS

This entry goes for all my teenager frnds…..
How many days back did u sit with Ur mom and talked to her for an hour or so…...???Or how many days back did u get sum time to have an outing with Ur family……..??I guess dat must be long back…
Have u ever realized dat in the rat race of this world…we have forgotten some of those valuable people in our life, who do make a difference to us….?????? These ppl include our frnds, teachers nd even our parents (believe it or not)… and trust me, it’s not our fault in any way… coz we, the INNOCENT TEENAGERS are being pissed by the world around us… I mean its not dat someone is after us……forcing us to do well… but the world is going so fast dat if u don’t pick up, u ll certainly lag behind….nd thus lose the tide of time…
If we don’t find a solution to this very soon, v ll certainly find ourselves totally screwed up with everything… even if we cannot spend much time with everyone around us…we can at least call them up sometimes nd tell them once in a while dat we love them so much…and we do care for them. ..Trust me; even these words of yours will give them utter happiness…….
So, next time, when u feel u have unintentionally ignored somebody, just walk up to them and tell them how much u care…

Coz u might have sometime ignored someone for whom u were their world….