Live Life Queen Size!!!

Friday, May 21, 2010


COMPLICATED COMPLICATION
Words don’t really seem to strike me right now but the feelings do which have forced me to write once again… not just for the sake of keeping the words flowing… but to really say something… which is out of my thought process… which even I don’t seem to understand… except for the fact that I just want to write!!!

It was just yesterday that I FINALLY got over with my exams… “so many shocks… n so many insults in just 2 months”… I bet we students deserve an award for the trauma we go through!!!

So, coming back to myself… as I finally step out from the traumatic period of 2 “long-long” months… I wanted to do everything I expected I will… n to begin with I got the movie tickets… my further plans included going to my friends… partying… sleeping… reading… in short enjoying my life to the fullest…
But I don’t know what It was…that struck me so hard yester night that took away all the beautiful thoughts from my mind!!!

I mean I no more felt like enjoying… all I needed and I still do… is perfect isolation…
From everything… from everyone… I need a moment of silence when I can just introspect and do nothing else… but the SILENCE around me seems to disturb the SILENCE that I want!!!
…Strange yet true!

Its not that I m being negative about anything… its not even that I m feeling super good… neither am I feeling normal… I am just feeling confused… confused about what is so confusing to me???...

What Is it that has held me so tight from being the way I want to be…
What is it that is stopping me from enjoying my life…?
I don’t seem to find any answers… and I don’t even think I really want to find them!
I just want to let be… but still want to change…
I feel like socializing a bit… but at the same time… feel lyk standing aside…
I want to uncomplicated… but am still complicating myself…
There is really nothing about which I should be thinking so… but still the confusion has taken a hold…!

I just hope I simplify myself soon…
And I wish you’ll pray for the same!!!

3 comments:

  1. Is this what you were talking about? honestly, i never saw this post before...
    anyways, you know what you need to?
    you need to stay where you are for a bit, then smile confidently and start doing what you were doing all the time...
    that will give your brain a bit of time to work things out...
    and dont worry, this post-exam period will wear off pretty fast!! :-)

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  2. i hope so...
    thnx.
    btw i m cool now!
    :)

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  3. you truly are a complicated and confused person..yet you have very nicely captured all your thoughts in this post. it is not easy to simplify oneself when the things we do, the decisions we take in life are all based on ours and other experiences..but still you can find simplicity in all this confusion and complication. Try to find the right amalgamation. If you understand what I mean.

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